I’m that annoying friend who actually likes going to the gym. You know the type. I get genuinely excited about trying new workout classes. I’ll drag you to a 6am spin session and act like it’s fun. I spend way too much time on Pinterest looking for healthy recipes that don’t taste like cardboard.
So believe me when I say that for the longest time, I was convinced that if I just tried hard enough, everything would fall into place. More squats, cleaner eating, better consistency. The formula seemed simple enough.
Except my body had other plans.
The Part Where I Realize I’m Not Lazy After All
Look, I did everything right. And I mean everything. I tracked my macros. I hired a personal trainer. I did those awful burpees that make you question your life choices. My fitness level was legitimately good. My doctor was thrilled with my bloodwork. I could run a 5K without wanting to die.
But my lower stomach? Still there, looking exactly the same as it did before I lost twenty pounds everywhere else. My inner thighs? Still touching, still chafing, still making me avoid dresses in the summer. That little pocket of fat under my chin that showed up in every single photo? Yeah, that wasn’t going anywhere either.
And you know what the worst part was? I felt like a failure. Like I wasn’t disciplined enough. Like other women had figured out some secret I was missing. I’d see fitness influencers online with their perfect abs and think, “What am I doing wrong?”
Turns out, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. My body was just being a body.
The Conversation That Actually Helped
My doctor is pretty no nonsense, which I appreciate. During my annual checkup, I made some offhand comment about needing to work harder on my problem areas. She literally stopped writing notes and looked at me.
“You know that’s not how fat distribution works, right?” she said. “You can’t spot reduce. Some areas are genetically stubborn. You could do crunches until you pass out and that lower belly pouch might not budge. It’s biology, not laziness.”
I almost cried right there in her office. Not because it was bad news, but because someone finally said it wasn’t my fault.
She continued: “Would you refuse to get glasses because you should just accept blurry vision? Would you skip physical therapy for a bad knee because dealing with pain builds character? Sometimes our bodies need extra help.”
That hit different, you know?
When Loving Yourself Gets Complicated
Here’s where I struggled for a while. I’m all about body positivity. I genuinely believe in treating yourself with kindness. I want my daughter to grow up comfortable in her own skin. So wanting to change something about my body felt like I was betraying all of that.
My therapist helped me work through this one. “Accepting yourself and wanting to feel more comfortable aren’t opposites,” she said. “You can love who you are and still want to address something that bothers you every single day.”
Because that’s the thing nobody talks about. The mental load of it. Every morning, picking outfits that hide certain areas. Every photo, immediately zooming in to see how bad the angles made things look. Every pool party invitation, feeling that little knot of anxiety about being in a swimsuit.
That’s exhausting. And pretending it doesn’t affect you doesn’t make you more evolved. It just makes you tired.
Down the Research Rabbit Hole
Once I gave myself permission to actually explore options, I went full detective mode. I’m talking late night Google sessions, Reddit threads, before and after galleries, consultation reviews. If there was information out there, I found it.
And honestly? Learning the science behind it all was fascinating. Fat cells don’t just disappear when you lose weight. They shrink. And some areas of your body are genetically programmed to hold onto fat cells like they’re going out of style. It has nothing to do with how hard you work or how clean you eat.
Mind. Blown.
I started reading about different body contouring options. Non surgical stuff that actually had science behind it, not just Instagram ads promising miracle results. Real procedures with actual medical research backing them up.
The more I learned, the more it made sense. This wasn’t about taking a shortcut or being lazy. It was about using available tools to address a specific problem that couldn’t be solved through traditional methods alone.
The Scary Part About Actually Doing Something
I’m not gonna lie, I was scared to take the next step. Not physically scared, but scared of what it meant. Would people think I was vain? Would I be letting down everyone who believed in body positivity? Was I admitting defeat somehow?
I spent probably too much time in my head about this. Then my best friend said something that snapped me out of it: “Literally nobody is thinking about your body as much as you are. Do what makes you feel good and stop worrying about imaginary judgment.”
She was right. As usual.
I started searching for CoolSculpting closest to me because I didn’t want to drive an hour each way for consultations and appointments. I wanted a provider nearby who I could actually talk to face to face. Not just read about it online, but have a real conversation with someone local who could look at my specific situation and tell me the truth.
The consultation was so different from what I expected. No hard sell. No promises of looking like a supermodel. Just honest conversation about what the treatment could realistically do for my particular problem areas. They showed me before and afters of people with similar body types. They explained the science. They answered my million questions without making me feel stupid.
That’s when I knew I was making the right decision.
What Actually Changed
Here’s the thing that surprised me most. The physical change was pretty subtle. It’s not like I walked out looking like a completely different person. But those specific areas that had been driving me crazy for years? Finally addressed. Finally proportional to the rest of my body.
But the mental change? Huge.
I stopped thinking about my body constantly. Stopped doing that automatic mental calculation every time I got dressed. Stopped cringing when someone wanted to take a photo. I just felt more comfortable existing in my own skin.
My husband said I seemed lighter somehow. Not physically lighter. Just less weighed down. Because I wasn’t carrying around that constant low level frustration anymore.
What Holistic Actually Means
I still work out four times a week. I still meal prep on Sundays. I still prioritize sleep and try to manage my stress. None of that changed.
What changed was my understanding that taking care of yourself means addressing all the things that affect your wellbeing. And if something is affecting your confidence, your mental health, how you show up in your life? That’s worth addressing too.
There’s no virtue in suffering through something that has a solution. There’s no prize for making everything harder than it needs to be.
True wellness means using all the tools available to help you feel like yourself. Sometimes that’s yoga and green smoothies. Sometimes it’s therapy and medication. Sometimes it’s a targeted treatment for a specific problem that diet and exercise can’t fix.
For me, it was all of the above. And finally giving myself permission to pursue what I actually needed instead of what I thought I should need? That was the most holistic thing I could have done.